(IN)EDIBLE GIFTS TO SEND TO YOUR ENEMIES
As the profound saying goes “haters gonna hate”. While we do recommend that you brush haters off, sometimes holding it in just isn’t an option. The mature thing to do would be to calmly voice your opinion – but if you’re feeling playful (/immature), here are a bunch of inedible gifts we recommend you anonymously send to your enemy.
1000 Live Superworms
Amazon.com is a wonderful place where you can purchase weird shit. What’s the most disgusting thing to find in a box – aside from excrements, of course? 1000 live superworms. #AddToCart
A bag of Edible Dicks
This one only applies if the recipient is a macho, homophobic douchebag. For $15 (+shipping), DicksByMail.com will kindly and anonymously send a 5-ounce bag of gummy dicks to your chosen enemy. The package will only include the phallic snack and a note that says “EAT A BAG OF DICKS”. #Suckers
This product –which is supposedly a deer repellent– also works wonders on humans. For the small fee of $34.95 (and free shipping!) send it to your hated-one and you’ll never be bothered again.
1 Dead Smelly Fish
ThePayback.com is a website that specializes in revenge and hatred. While they offer everything from Bad Breath to Body Odor Packages, this one (which costs $19.99) is probably the most inedible one.
1 Box of Melted Chocolate
Sending someone a box of melted chocolate for $24.99 could seem like a sweet gesture gone wrong – so make sure to include a card saying “Eat shit and Die” or whatever else you see fit.
Chocolate flavoured laxative
BoxedRevenge.com –another revenge driven website– suggests you send your foe a box of chocolate flavoured laxative. We find this one particularly disturbing. Thankfully for us, there’s no one we dislike this much.
BoxedRevenge.com suggests you order this item to your own home and prepare a sandwich for your enemy. We’re pretty sure most people would notice the mold, unless they’re blind –in that case, you are cruel.